


Cry in silence

by S_V



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Gen, Other, as in it's written purely for sads, can be read as Megatron/Soundwave, contains so much pining and devotion, heed the 'character death' tag, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:41:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6664525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S_V/pseuds/S_V
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events from the last episode of TFP, s3ep13 - 'Deadlock', as seen from Soundwave’s perspective.</p>
<p>Contains spoilers for the show, extreme loyalty and adoration, and lots of feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cry in silence

**Author's Note:**

> Someone encouraged me to write this with the goal of giving them feels. I delivered and succeeded. I'm absolutely shameless about my love for the complex relationship between Soundwave and Megatron. I'll also never forgive the bullshit the writers pulled with that last episode.
> 
> As always, English isn't my native language and I don't have a beta reader, so if you spot any mistakes, please let me know so I can correct them.

He couldn't touch them. The enemy was on the Nemesis, and Soundwave _couldn't touch them_. Oh, he had been able to earlier, had stood his ground and held his post, had defended the bridge from the Wreckers and had prepared to get rid of the pesky humans... Then another bridge had opened, and Soundwave had felt an alien _pulling_ in his frame and spark, like something was pressing down at him yet at the same time tearing him apart. It hadn't lasted long, but after that...

After that, he couldn't touch them. He had tried, had intended to dispose of the human female even if it meant destroying the precious Apex Armor, but his attack had gone straight through her. As had the next ones, even his attempt at simply _touching_ her failing. More so, the humans hadn't even _looked_ at him. He was... _insubstantial_.

For the first time in eons, Soundwave didn't know what to do. The purpose he had given himself had been to serve his lord and master, but how could he do that when he couldn't touch anything, couldn't _do_ anything? He was _useless._

_No._ Soundwave couldn't accept that. His lord _needed_ him. Now more than ever, with the desperate attempt the Autobots had made to storm the Nemesis. Soundwave hadn't thought they would succeed, not at first. He had planned his own actions to ensure their failure. But now, finding himself no longer a part of the picture, his certainty was wavering. He wasn't where he was supposed to be, and his lord _believed_ in him, _trusted_ him to have his back. Soundwave had _always_ had his back! He couldn't possibly betray Megatron's trust.

The ship lurched as the humans attempted to navigate it, and Soundwave stumbled, reaching for a terminal to steady himself. His servo went straight through it, and he staggered again, staring at his arm in horror before curling his thin digits into a fist. No. He wouldn't panic. He couldn't afford to. He had to keep levelheaded. First thing first: he needed to contact his lord. Soundwave could still feel Laserbeak through their bond, which was a relief, and he drew upon her presence to calm himself. She was with him, she was online and unharmed. _Good_.

The attempt to send a transmission to Megatron was met by a rush of static, and another cold wave washed over Soundwave's spark. He couldn't contact his lord? Not even _that?_ But he _needed_ to! What was this place he found himself in? What had the humans done to him? He had to find a way to undo whatever they had done, to make his way back to his lord. Megatron _needed_ him, and Soundwave needed Megatron.

Bowing his helm, he pushed the distant sound of combat aside, ignored the way the floor of the Nemesis rolled under him, and focused. The humans had appeared, he had intended to bridge them outside the Nemesis' hull and send them falling to the ground so far beneath them. The one in the Armor had backed up, and he had followed her... And then, the male had shouted something into his telephone. He had ordered the other bridge opened. Had they sent something through that bridge? Something that had affected Soundwave? He could too easily recall that horrible sensation of _push-and-pull_ , and then he had been... _here_. Wherever ' _here_ ' was. What had they hit him with? Did they posses some sort of dimensional phase-displacer? And how did he reverse the effects?

A rush of faded color and movement caught his attention, and Soundwave snapped his helm up, torn from his calculations. _No..._ On the screen of the terminal he had tried and failed to catch himself on, various scenes from the shipwide surveillance were being displayed. Most showed either battle or soldiers rushing towards the hot spots where the enemies were, but for a brief moment, he had seen the young new recruit, Smokescreen. Worse still, Smokescreen had been carrying the Star Saber. _They should have thrown it into a black hole_. Even if they couldn't destroy it, they should have _gotten rid of it!_

Forgetting that it was impossible, Soundwave attempted to contact his lord, the calm he had managed to gather around himself shattering as he screamed a warning into the empty static. _No!_ No, this couldn't be, it _couldn't_ , Soundwave couldn't allow it! His lord trusted him, _Megatron trusted him_ , and he couldn't do anything! Frustrated, he automatically reached for the terminal, digits shaking slightly as they passed through the screen. No... No no _no_.

:: _I ̢n̴e//͜d y̷ou._ ::

The voice was faint, crackling and laced with static, but it was still enough to have Soundwave snap to attention. He would _always_ listen when that voice spoke. _Lord Megatron_. Somehow, though incredibly faint, Soundwave could hear his lord's voice as he tried to contact his Third in Command. He needed him. Soundwave didn't have time to think, his frame reacting automatically, pushing into movement and propelling him towards the Omega Lock. He had been supposed to protect the bridge, but he had failed, and it didn't matter anymore. What mattered was that the most important mech in his existence needed him, and Soundwave couldn't answer to his call. He _had_ to be there for Megatron, he _needed_ to be!

:: _So̧ùn͟dw̸//̕ve̶,, where̕ ̨/͞/̸re y̴ou.̢?_ ::

Even through the static, Soundwave could hear the urgency in his lord's voice. He knew Megatron like no one else, knew him better than even Orion had and Optimus did now, and he could recognize the necessity in his master's vocals. Soundwave responded in kind, speeding up and ignoring the signs of combat he passed. He knew it was useless, but he still tried answering, tried assuring his lord that he was on his way, that he hadn't turned his back on him, that he was still as devoted as ever.

He had no plan as he burst into the upper levels of the Omega Lock, not bothering to stop his dash and simply slowing down as he took in what was happening. Starscream was fighting Arcee, Smokescreen appeared injured and about to be overwhelmed by Vehicons, and Shockwave was trying to activate the Lock despite the Autobot medic's attempts at foiling him. _Where was the scout?_ Movement answered his question for him, and he finally skidded to a stop at the edge of the level. There was the one who had taken to calling himself Bumblebee, Star Saber in hand as he scaled the Omega Lock in an attempt to reach his leader.

Soundwave watched with everyone else as Bumblebee launched himself in an absolutely foolish maneuver to reach the Prime. He watched as his lord fired his fusion cannon, precisely aiming for the scout who had no means of evasion in midair. He watched as the yellow frame jerked, as the arch it had thrown itself into was broken into an abrupt drop, as the blue optics flickered then went gray. He watched, and he slid into movement again.

Around him, everyone seemed frozen in place, no matter their faction. He had time see a gleeful expression slowly steal across Starscream's faceplate before Soundwave turned his back to him. _Fool_. This wasn't a victory, it was merely one fallen soldier in a battle. And the Prime had a habit of taking it personal when those under his command were injured.

The scout had been climbing down the Lock. Soundwave didn't bother. Throwing himself over the edge of the upper level, he let his frame drop, arms spread to stabilize him and one leg stretched out so that when he landed, he could roll once before smoothly rising. He straightened just in time to see that he had been right. Optimus Prime had launched a vicious attack on Megatron, rage fueling each strike and lending strength to each blow. His lord was staggering back.

_Megatron needed him_. And Soundwave couldn't help him. He couldn't do _anything_. Lifting his servos, Soundwave stared at them, barely noticing how his digits shook. His lord needed him, his lord was getting hurt in front of him, and Soundwave could do nothing to stop it, to _help_. He ex-vented heavily in a shaky sigh of relief when Megatron picked up the Dark Star Saber and sent the Prime flying, hurrying to his lord's side as they both went to confirm what had happened.

The Prime was still alive... for now. Megatron would end that, once and for all. Soundwave turned, not interested in seeing Optimus Prime die. He didn't care about that, didn't care about the killing of the enemy. No, he wanted to look at his lord, to see those adored features when he finally won the ultimate victory. He wanted to see his master in his triumph.

It was because he was turned that he picked up on the movement behind his lord. Spinning, Soundwave automatically took a defensive stand, ready to protect Megatron's back while his lord was otherwise occupied. He didn't give himself opportunity to stare or wonder when the Autobot scout rose, not thinking about the impossibility of what was happening and instead focusing on the blade his enemy wielded. Bumblebee looked straight through him, and in that moment, everything inside Soundwave seemed to freeze as realization hit him. _He couldn't protect his lord._

“No...”

Soundwave barely heard it when the scout shouted Megatron's designation, instead fighting to turn, his movements suddenly seeming much too slow. He knew this feeling all too well, the way his frame seemed to slow down as his senses sharpened, keenly focusing on the object of his affections. The object he was about to lose. He'd felt this before, each time one of his symbiotes had been stolen from him, but the knowledge that this was _Megatron_ , his lord, his master, his dearest friend and the mech he had devoted his very spark and existence to, made the horror and pain cut impossibly deep. _No..._

Soundwave's turn ended synchronously with Megatron's, and he automatically reached up, seeking to touch his lord's features. How many times had they talked, and he had calmed his lord by gently cupping his face? How often hadn't he traced that marred metal in a silent sign of devotion? This was _Megatron_ , and Soundwave adored him, loved him so fiercely he had willingly followed him even in his descent into his disillusioned madness.

“ _No._ ”

And now, Soundwave could do nothing as he watched those beloved features change from an angry snarl to the beginning of surprise... and _understanding_. He knew that expression well, and he had sworn to himself it was one he would never allow his lord to wear. Soundwave had seen it countless of times on those he offlined, first in the Pits of Kaon, then later on the battlefield. It was the focused growl of a fighter, softening into the realization that they were going to die.

:: _I̕./̀.. ͜fa//̴l̶e̸d ̧y̸/̢/u̕.̷.͠._ ::

Soundwave could hear the same certainty in his master's voice as it reached him through the static, and the servo he had been shakily reaching with now made a desperate grab. Soundwave coughed out an odd little noise that felt like it had gotten stuck in his throat as his touch passed straight through Megatron's face. It took him forever to realize it had been a sob.

“ _ **No!**_ ”

He _screamed_ , voice straining and breaking from disuse, as the blade of the Star Saber passed straight through his own spark and pierced Megatron's chassis. Soundwave would give anything to have been corporal, to have taken that blow, to have shielded his master at the cost of his own life. He would happily spend eternity in the Pits of Unicron if it meant he could have saved his lord. He couldn't. Megatron had needed him, and he had failed him, and now... Now he was listening to his lord's last words through increasing static without even being able to answer him.

Soundwave watched in despair as his master raised the Dark Star Saber, the slow movement revealing to his trained optics just how much even this simple action troubled Megatron. He shook when the hilt of the sword slipped between his lord's digits, falling uselessly over the side of the Omega Lock while the warlord himself collapsed to his knees.

:: _I͡,͜͢͠ ̶͝f̵à̡͘i̢͟l//̀d.̴͞.̶̢̕.͘ ̵ųs̡ ͜à̷/̸́/́͘ļ͘_ ::

The light in Megatron's optics flickered, and for a moment, it appeared as though he was reaching for Soundwave. Immediately, the spy attempted to take his servo, but his own digits passed uselessly through his masters claws, and Soundwave sobbed again, barely recognizing the feeling of fluid staining his face beneath his screen as he cried out. _No_.

The reaching servo uselessly closed around the blade impaling his chassis and splitting the Decepticon brand adorning his chest. Soundwave stumbled forwards, fruitlessly attempting to touch his lord, to cover the wound with his own servos as if he could somehow will it away. He whispered a broken plea, even as his touch went through his master's plating, begging Megatron to please stay, _please_ , please remain online. Megatron needed him, and Soundwave... Soundwave _needed_ Megatron.

The purple glow seeping out around the blade wavered and dimmed, and Soundwave cried out again, a raw sound of pain, of loss and devastation. His legs shook, threatening to give out under him as he turned his gaze to his lord's face. Somewhere, he was vaguely aware that Starscream was yelling something, but Soundwave didn't hear what, optics locked in his master's even as Megatron's seemed to flash one last time.

:: _I͏'͡͝ḿ̛..̕͘͝/̶̸.̷̴͘ ͘s̕/͏͡/̷r͟͝r͘y̷̧, ̴͘_ _Ş͝͏̼o͜͏̹ú̢͈̺n̬̺d̯̫͎͚w҉͏̘̤͉̖͙̩̹̝/̲̩̙̀͢͝/̨͙̦̘͎̳͈͕͢ͅv̡̝͙̩̺͟͞e͚̼̥._ ::

“ _ **NO!!!**_ ”

As Megatron's frame began to slip, sliding off of the blade which had snuffed his spark, Soundwave desperately grasped for him. He... He had to catch him! He couldn't let his lord fall, he was supposed to protect him, he was supposed to ensure Megatron's victory, he was supposed to _help him!_ Megatron trusted him to! It was the very purpose Soundwave had dedicated himself and his spark to, what he had made into the meaning of his existence! _And he had_ _ **failed.**_

When Megatron fell, Soundwave didn't think He simply followed him, as he had sworn he would always do. Launching himself over the side of the Omega Lock, he didn't bother looking back, instead folding his arms close to his frame. Air was his element, and he easily navigated close to where his master's frame was dropping, helm first and optics empty and offline. Chassis to wounded chassis, Soundwave let himself fall along Megatron's empty husk, absentmindedly reaching up to remove his screen like he usually did when alone with his lord.

“Why... Why did you say you were sorry? I should be the one apologizing. I should be begging for your forgiveness. You trusted me, and I failed you... I'm so sorry.”

He discarded the mask he had pulled from his face, forgetting about it as soon as it left his grip. Instead, he shakily reached for his lord's face, cupping his servo a mere breath over the metal to mimic the touch he so longed to be able to give. Flames were beginning to engulf Megatron's frame as he tore through the atmosphere, but Soundwave couldn't feel them as they licked over him, harmlessly passing through his plating. Maneuvering himself as close as he could possibly get, Soundwave carefully moved his digits like he would if he was stroking his lord's faceplate, the gesture as full of adoration as ever.

“I'm sorry... I failed you, please, come back. Come back so I can apologize. Come back and punish me for my mistake. Just... come back to me. _Please_. I _need_ you _._ ”

Voice shaking, Soundwave begged for a miracle, to at least be able to touch his lord again, hoping beyond hope for a reply. For the first time in his existence, Soundwave didn't wish for silence. And for the first time, silence was all that met him when he reached for his lord. Curling himself against dulled plating, Soundwave cried, the sound low, hopeless, and filled with pain. He didn't know what to do... and it didn't matter anymore.


End file.
